Chapter 1
Niallee
Four Months Ago…
“Oh my god, Nia! That’s fantastic news! I can’t tell you how happy we are and how much we appreciate what you’re doing for us.” My brother, Max, chokes the words out through joyful sobs and my heart instantly swells.
“You and Janey will be great parents, Max. I’m so honored to be able to be a part of getting you both there.” God, it’s so damn true too. My brother is eight years older than me and both he and his wife have been trying to get pregnant since they got married fresh out of high school. It wasn’t until thirteen months ago that they met with a fertility specialist where they found out Jane can’t have children. She was officially diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome that they believe is the result of several infections she had as a young teenager that left her uterus covered with scar tissue.
It was a devastating blow and there was no way in hell I was going to sit by and watch their dream slip away when there was something I could do to help them. After meeting with several doctors who agreed I would be a suitable surrogate, I began the process of exams and shots to prepare me for IVF. It took us a while to find an agency that would do it and we had to sign mountains of paperwork and waivers, but we finally did it. Today was my first appointment following the procedure and I couldn’t have been happier to hear the doctor announce that the first cycle took. They were able to use her egg and his sperm while my body is nothing more than the incubator that will grow their child for them.
“You’re the most amazing little sister, Nia. I fucking love you so damn much!” Oh great, now I’m crying and it’s still too early to blame the damn pregnancy hormones!
“I love you too, Max. I’m going to head home, but I’ll let you know when the first ultrasound is so you both can be there.” We say our goodbyes after a few more heartfelt ‘thank yous’ then I finally make the drive home.
Today is the day of my first ultrasound and also the day that marks my eighth week of pregnancy. I wish I could say it’s been smooth sailing, but this morning sickness shit is no joke and it sure the hell doesn’t discriminate! I don’t have ‘morning’ sickness, oh no, I have all damn day and most damn nights sickness. One thing’s for sure, Max and Jane are lucky as hell that I love them.
I arrived at the OBGYN office thirty minutes before my appointment and got a text from Max just as I pulled in saying they’re on their way. That was twenty minutes ago, but they still aren’t here. The drive from Max and Jane’s to the clinic is only a fifteen minute drive, so logically, I assume they’re stuck in traffic.
The nurse has been patient and though the doctor is ready for me, they’re both fully aware of my situation and have been letting me wait. Fifteen minutes past my appointment time seems to be as long as they can hold off due to other appointments and neither Max nor Jane are answering my calls. I finally let them take me back to begin my check up and complete the ultrasound, which they give me a DVD of so that Max and Jane can see the little bean and hear the heartbeat for the first time. Not quite the same as being there in person, but it’ll have to do for now. I make it to my car and get my seatbelt on, but before I can get the key in the ignition, my phone rings with a number I don’t recognize on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Niallee Winters?”
“Yes, and you are?”
“I’m officer Brett Davis from the Fulkerton County Police Department. You’re on the emergency contact list for a Mr. Maxwel Winters.”
“Yes, he’s my brother. Can I ask what’s going on?”
“Ma’am, your brother and his wife were involved in an accident. Would you be able to meet me at St. Luke’s Memorial Hospital?”
“Are they okay?!”
“Ma’am, if you can meet with me, the doctor can answer all your questions.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m already there.”
“I’ll meet you in the waiting area for the emergency department.”
I hang up without so much as a proper goodbye and haul ass back into the hospital, not stopping or slowing until I reach the emergency room’s waiting area where two officers and a man in a white coat, which I assume is the doctor, are standing by the front desk talking. Have you ever had one of those moments where something happens and you just know the outcome before anyone even tells you? That’s this moment right now. I see the somber look on their faces and while I want to deny it, I just know they’re gone.
I don’t know how long I sit in that damn waiting room with the doctor and officers explaining to me about the accident and how they did everything they could to save them, but in the end only one thing sticks…they really are gone.
Present…
I slide out of my SUV and take a deep breath, savoring the crisp morning air that’s untainted by the stench of the city. I had tried to live my life there, to carry on the way things were, but that was an impossible task. Everything reminded me of them and with me having a constantly growing reminder already weighing me down every day, I just couldn’t take it anymore…I constantly felt like I was being buried alive.
I made the arrangements for their services, pushed through their funerals then attended the will reading where I found out, much to my surprise, that they both left everything to me, including their house, life insurance and custody of their unborn child. I know they were just being prepared, but it almost feels like they saw this coming…I know, I know, I sound crazy.
Moving here to the small town of Barington, I hope to get a fresh start. I sold their house on the outskirts of the city then used some of the money they left me to buy a three bedroom, two bath, fixer upper house near a quaint little park and all of my things, except the necessities, were delivered to the storage unit I rented. The town is beautiful and the area of town where most of the businesses are located has an old time, country feel to it with the red brick buildings and the wooden signs hanging above the doors.
After carrying in the few suitcases and boxes of breakable items I had stored in my SUV, I decide to head to the grocery store and stock up on enough necessities to get me by for the remainder of the week. With the money left behind by Max and Jane, the money from selling their house and cars on top of what I still have saved from my work and the money I received when our parents passed away four years ago, I don’t have to worry about work. I’ve decided to spend the rest of my pregnancy fixing up the house and focusing on healing, though that truly seems like a monumental task.
An hour and two hundred dollars later, I return to the house and immediately start carrying bags in. I’m just heading back to the SUV to make my second trip when I hear shouting from the house next door followed by the sound of the door swinging open with enough force to make it slam into the wall. I try my best to ignore the commotion, desperately trying to keep to myself, when a sweet, soft voice stops me in my tracks.
“You must be the new neighbor! My name’s Lynn.” I set down the bag in my hand and turn to find a tall, thin woman with brunette hair and brown eyes smiling at me.
“Yeah, just got here today. My name’s Niallee, but everyone just calls me Nia.” She offers me her hand and I shake it quickly before turning to pick up the bag I just set down.
“It’s so nice to meet you. Here, let me help!” Before I can decline her offer, she’s already loading her arms up with grocery bags to carry in.
“Oh, um, thanks.” I offer her a strained smile then lead the way into the house and straight to the kitchen. We set everything down and, with her help, we make the final trip and bring in the last of the bags.
“I don’t live around here, but I visit my brother next door several days a week. If you ever need help with anything, just let one of us know. Lincoln might come across as a jerk, but he’s really a good guy. He works construction, so he might be able to help with some of the fixing up around here.” Lynn seems like a really kind woman and it hurts so much to realize she honestly reminds a lot of Jane.
“I appreciate it. I have about five months to get this place sorted.” I know my baggy shirt is hiding the small baby bump, yet my hands, as they so often do, find their way to it, resting over the little miracle growing inside.
“Oh! Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Congratulations! How far along are you?” Her genuine excitement helps dull the ache a little and I’m thankful for it.
“Almost seventeen weeks.” Her smile lights up her face, making me appreciate, for this one small moment, the fact that I still have a piece of Max with me.
“That’s so awesome! If you ever need help, or anything at all, you just let me know. Here, put your number in my phone and I’ll send you a text so you have mine. You can reach out anytime, day or night.” I take her offered phone and enter my number in then seconds after I hand it back, my phone vibrates with a new text.
“I really appreciate it. It’ll be nice to have someone here I can turn to.” I can’t keep the sadness from my voice, but hell, I rarely can these days.
“Is the dad not in the picture then? What about your family?” How the hell do I explain my situation?
“Um, no…to both.” Her brow furrows as she nods her head in understanding.
“I’m sorry to hear that, but you’re going to do great and I’ll be around to help with anything you need. I work from home, so I can be here anytime you need me.” I’m so grateful she doesn’t push for more information, though maybe it would be easier if she knew the truth. I have a feeling she’s going to become a damn good friend which definitely means I’ll have to open up to her eventually.
“I appreciate that, more than you know.” She surprises me by pulling me into a hug, one of those hugs that makes you feel safe and warm, things I haven’t felt since I walked into the hospital emergency room the day Max and Jane were taken from me.
