Bloodlines

Omara

“Omara McFae, I, Kyle Lowry, reject you as my mate.” My heart feels as if it’s exploding into a million tiny pieces. My lungs feel as though they’re being crushed, leaving me wishing that death would embrace me and free me from this misery.

It’s been almost three months since Kyle rejected me in front of my entire pack during the pack’s monthly pack gathering. Being the quiet and invisible person that I am, no one felt sympathy for me because technically, they never knew me. The pain of that day still radiates within me, but thankfully it’s dulled ever so slightly, or perhaps I’ve just grown accustomed to the agony of it.

Kyle wasted no time moving on and is now taking the former beta’s daughter as his chosen mate, which works since he’s the new alpha’s beta, while I’m left alone, used and unwanted. A few days ago, my mother approached me with an idea of me going to my aunts in the northern territory for the summer to see if it might help me to move past the horrible pain and depression that are slowly eating me alive. I’ve just finished packing and after taking one last look around my room, I take my bags and head downstairs.

“Did you take everything you’ll need, O?” My brother, Liam, calls out from somewhere in the kitchen.

“I packed everything but the bathroom sink. Where’s mom?” He walks out of the kitchen and into the hall, stopping directly in front of me.

“She ran to fill the tank on the car and get you both some snacks for the trip.” He hesitates and shifts awkwardly then suddenly throws his arms around me. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”

“Awe, I’m going to miss you too, you big ape.” Liam has never been one for words, but he’s always been my rock. I honestly believe that if I didn’t have him in my life, the rejection would’ve killed me. He held my hand, stayed with me and comforted me through the worst of it and I couldn’t love him more for it. Since that day, he’s been in several fights and spent most of his time jumping to my defense, always standing at my side like a silent sentinel.

Being the rejected mate has given my packmates endless ammunition to use as a means to torment me and completely obliterated the invisibility that used to protect me, but I still don’t know what I ever did to them to deserve their hatred and torment. I went from being invisible to being a target overnight. Liam pulls away and I can see the tears glistening in his eyes, even though he tries to hide them away.

“I can hear the car. You should get out there before she comes in and delays your trip with a walk down memory lane.” We both chuckle softly and hug once more before I leave my home. I throw my bags into the trunk of the car, climb in the passenger seat and as soon as I’m buckled, we’re off. The first hour of our car ride is filled with only the sound of the music on the radio and while the tension in the air is thick, the silence is most welcome, though eventually my mom decides to try and fill it.

“Your aunt Avery is excited to have you stay with them. She seems quite confident that you might find a second chance mate while you’re there.” I roll my eyes and shift to gaze out my window, wondering why the hell everyone seems so set on shoving me off onto another mate as if it would fix me.

“A mate is the furthest thing from my mind, mom. I know you’ve never experienced the pain of being rejected, but it isn’t something I’ll ever be willing to experience again.” My voice breaks at the end as I choke back a sob. I know that, not having gone through it for herself, this is a foreign subject for her. It’s as if she expects me to just pick myself up and dust myself off then move on, but it’s not that easy. How can you pick yourself up when your pieces are so fucking scattered?

“I know sweetheart, but you really should open yourself up to the possibility because you deserve to be happy.” I sigh loudly and turn my head to face her, wanting her to actually see the way her words are hurting me.

“Opening myself up to the possibility of happiness is also opening myself up to the possibility of soul crushing heartbreak. If dad died, would you just move on?” I know I might be pushing a bit too far, but so is she and she needs to know that. I know she sounds like she’s just trying to help, but she’s been pushing this since mere days after the public rejection and it’s quickly taking its toll.

“It’s not the same, Omara, and you know it.” I feel something in me break before I even speak my response.

“You’re right. If dad died, you wouldn’t have to see him walking around with the woman he rejected you for. You wouldn’t have to live with the constant reminder that he chose someone else over you, that you weren’t good enough.” Those are the last words spoken during our eleven hour drive. We arrive at my aunt’s just past nine pm and I can tell that my mom feels as exhausted as I do. My aunt rushes out as we’re closing the doors to the car and quickly pulls me in for a hug.

“Oh, sweet girl, I’ve missed you so much. I can’t believe how much you’ve grown!” She pulls away and her kind eyes scan my body as if committing the changes to memory.

“Eight years will do that.” I reply dryly.

“Don’t mind her, she’s been like this since the…event.” Apparently, that’s how we’re describing me being rejected by my mate in a very public setting and shunned by my entire pack…a damn event.

“Oh, it’s okay. She’s well within her rights to be hurt, angry, or whatever else she might be feeling right now. I hope being here will help her to move forward and find her purpose.” I have to respect her determination, but I doubt anything will help at this point. Everything feels so hopeless.

“I think she just needs to hold her head high and show that bastard that he doesn’t have any power over her.” My mom makes it seem so simple, but it’s really not since he does have power over me! If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be continuing to suffer while he parades around with his chosen mate like he didn’t completely destroy me.

“I think she’s doing the best she can and we just need to be supportive of her. We’ll do whatever we can to help her through this, but she has to be allowed to grieve the loss.” My mom rolls her eyes at my aunt because, no matter what anyone says, she just doesn’t understand.

“There’s nothing to grieve, Avery. Her mate rejected her, he didn’t die.” I love my mom, I really do, but she really can be a bitch sometimes.

“Avery dear, I’m sure they’re exhausted after that long drive. Let’s get them settled and you can catch up in the morning.” Uncle Randy calls out from the front porch. My mother helps me grab my bags and Avery shows us to our rooms. I forgot how huge their house is. My uncle was the Head of security for the former Alpha and as such, was given the best of everything. Their log cabin style home has five bedrooms that each have their own bathrooms, a large kitchen, spacious living room, a dining room with a table that can fit a dozen people easily and the most beautiful garden in the back. I spent most of my time in the garden when we would visit during my childhood. My aunt opens the door to my room and I’m pleased to see the colors are neutral and not overly feminine. We place my bags on the bench at the foot of the bed and say our goodnights. I don’t even bother to change before crashing on the bed and getting lost in my thoughts.

I know I can’t do anything to make things change or to make things better, but being around my mom and her insistence that I just grow up and get over it really has taken a toll on me. I didn’t ask for this, for any of it. I didn’t ask to be lied to, manipulated and betrayed. I didn’t ask for my mate to reject me. I didn’t ask for my heart to be ripped out, torn to shreds then set on fire until it was reduced to ash. I didn’t ask to be forced to endure the soul crushing pain of seeing my former mate with the wolf he chose over me, the one he decided was more worthy than me. As with every night since that fateful day, I allow myself to cry until I have nothing left and finally succumb to the exhaustion of the day.