Carl's Flower

It has been 10 years since Lily has been home. She didn’t care for the term, ‘home’. She grew up there, nothing more.

It wasn’t her choice to be born in the scrap metal that was her birthplace, but she takes those memories and pushes them down as far as she can.

Lily was respectable now, she dug herself out of the mud and embraced a life of refinement and prestige. She lived in Seattle as a popular Journalist and reported on the hard-to-read stories about drug use and the chaos that it was causing the city.

In Seattle, Lily appeared to be a well-educated, Gonzo journalist who took risks in order to discover the truth, but Lily knew better.

She had firsthand experience when it came to drug use and what it does to the community and the people you love. Lily never lied about her past, but she also didn’t divulge any details that would give her away.

She was a private person and put her career before everything. She had a social life, but when it came to dating, she never became serious with anyone; Lily enjoyed her freedom.

As she drove down the overgrown driveway, she reached the rundown trailer. The air still smelled the same from when she was a child; burnt trash and hopeless dreams.

Her sister, Rose, was standing in the doorway smoking a cigarette. The irony of hers and her sister’s name did not escape her, beautiful flowers growing amidst the trash.

“I thought you quit smoking,” Lily said as she closed the door to her silver Mercedes.

Rose took her last drag and then flicked the cigarette onto the ground. “Yeah, didn’t take.”

“How’s the family? Kids good?”

“Eh, same ole, same ole. Frank is playing baseball and Jessie has gotten into football.”

“That’s exciting.”

“Which part?”

“I guess, all of it.”

Rose nodded. Her and Lily weren’t close; they only spoke on holidays and most of the times it was just a text message. She was growing tired of Lily’s polite small talk.

“So, how do you want to take care of this?”

Lily stepped into the trailer looking around at the mess. Dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, the trash was overflowing, clothes scattered around and there were stains and burn marks on the furniture.

She put her hand on her forehead and started rubbing it, she could feel a migraine coming. “I have no idea. Burn it?”

Rose let out a small laugh. “Carl will be here soon. He’s going to help get rid of all the furniture.”

Lily’s eyes widened. She hadn’t seen Carl since she was 18; it was her last night in the trailer park. Carl was Lily’s first boyfriend and vice versa.

They had grown up together and around the age of 13 they became more than just friends. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, but there was a lot of love there.

“Why did you call Carl?”

“Lily, chill, he owns the local dump, and he’s going to get rid of all this crap for us for free.”

Lily was nervous about seeing Carl. They did not leave on good terms, and she knew that it was pretty much her fault. Instead of dwelling on it, she grabbed a garbage bag and started filling it up with dishes and other trash she found lying around.

It wasn’t too much longer until Carl walked through the door. He walked over to Rose and gave her a hug. “Hey, sorry about Joe. How you holding up?”

“Don’t pretend like he was a good man. I’m sure he’s looking up at us right now, laughing at the mess he left for us to clean,” Rose said looking down as if she could see straight through to hell.

Carl started looking around, he felt a little rush in his stomach, like when you ride a bike down a steep hill. “Us? Who else is here?”

Still cleaning, Rose motioned her head in the direction of Lily. When she saw Carl’s stunned expression, she said, “You know what, I’m going to go have a look outside. I am sure there are some tools that we need to get rid of also.”

Lily was in the kitchen still filling up the garbage bag. Carl walked over to her, but she kept working trying to avoid the awkwardness.

Carl leaned against the counter, blocking her way so that she had to stop and look at him. She set the garbage bag down and let out a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi? Wow, that’s all I get?”

“Hi Carl, how are you?” Lily asked sarcastically.

“I’m good Lily. I’m real good. And you?”

“Carl, just say what you want to say so we can move on.”

“Whatever do you mean? What possibly could I have to say? Oh, I know. How about we talk about how you just left in the middle of the night? No note, no goodbye, no call, no nothing.”

“It’s no anything.”

“What?”

“You said no nothing, that’s a double negative. It’s no anything.”

“Really, Lily? That’s your response?”

“What do you want from me? You want me to say I’m sorry? Fine. I’m sorry, Carl. I am sorry that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in this shithole, I’m sorry that I didn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant at 18 and I’m so sorry that I wanted something better in life!”

Carl looked around shaking his head as he could feel the anger brewing inside of him. “I don’t need this. You can tell Rose that I’ll come back when you are gone.”

He turned and started walking away, but Lily grabbed his arm. “Carl, stop. I’m sorry. I really am,” Lily said with sincerity in her voice.

After all these years, her touch still gave him butterflies. “Have dinner with me tonight.”

She began to move her arm away. “Oh, Carl, that’s really nice, but I am just finishing up here and heading back to the airport. I’m not staying the night.”

He looked at her with his big beautiful brown eyes. There were very few people who could resist his eyes. Even teachers fell victim to his eyes, in school Carl always got out of trouble with just one look.

“Just one dinner. Come on, let me get closure.”

Reluctantly she said, “Okay, I guess I can stay at the Hilton in Meridian. Sure, let’s have dinner. What time and where do you want to meet?”

“I’ll pick you up from the Hilton at eight.”

“No, you don’t have to do that, just tell me where to meet you. I can drive to the restaurant myself.”

Carl had already walked to the living room and started lifting one of the banged-up sofa chairs, as he began carrying it out the door, he said, “Can’t hear you. See you at eight.”

After Carl loaded the chair into his truck, Rose asked him to go around back and help get rid of the tools. She just wanted to have a moment alone with Lily before he came back inside for the rest of the furniture.

She walked in, grabbed a trash bag and started filling it up with the clothes that were spread out across the sofa and on the floor.

“Well, you’re still here so I guess that didn’t go so bad.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Rose. You know, you could have just stayed and then I probably wouldn’t have had to agree to dinner tonight.”

“Oh, dear God! Not dinner?! How horrible of him.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Rose. Look, I have finished in the kitchen. I’m going to start in my old room and when I am done there, I’m going to leave. If you don’t want to finish by yourself, I can come back tomorrow because apparently, I am not leaving tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it. Frank and Jessie are coming in a couple of hours. They can finish up what we don’t get done with now.”

Lily stayed in the bedroom taking her time. She wanted to avoid Carl for as long as she could, but being in that room brought up memories that she hadn’t thought about in years.

She sat down on her bed and picked up a white stuffed toy rabbit, she squeezed it tight as she allowed herself to drift into a memory.

When Lily was young, she had a stuffed teddy bear that she would sleep with every night. It was a gift her grandmother gave her, and it meant a lot to Lily.

Her grandmother was kind and gentle, she gave Lily and Rose the love and attention they so desperately needed, but when Lily was seven years old, her grandmother died from lung cancer. Her death marked the beginning of the hard times to come for Lily and Rose.

Their parents were addicts; whether it was drugs or alcohol, they were always intoxicated on something. They didn’t physically abuse Lily or Rose, but they would verbally abuse them, and neglect was a constant theme in the house.

Domestic violence also occurred between their mother, Bobbie-Anne and father, Joe. Lily and Rose were constantly witnesses to Joe beating on Bobbie-Anne.

Most times, it would be a few punches to the face and Bobbie-Anne would leave for a few days, but she always came back. Some nights, Bobbie-Anne wasn’t so willing to take Joe’s beatings, so she would defend herself.

Joe had several scars across his body where Bobbie-Anne had lunged at him with a kitchen knife. There were times when the police would be called, and for a couple of days, the girls would have some peace, but like clockwork, the fighting and yelling would start again.

This wasn’t unusual for the kids growing up in the trailer park and many of them found solace in each other, but there was something special between Carl and Lily.

They had a bond where at times was turbulent, but they were always there for one another in a way that no one else could be.

When Lily was eight years old, Bobbie-Anne and Joe were having one of their usual fights. When this would happen, Lily would run to Rose and hold her, covering Rose’s ears muffling out the screams.

Rose was two years younger than Lily and even though Lily was a child herself, she grew up fast and took care of Rose. Lily was in Rose’s room holding her, but she could hear Bobbie-Anne in Lily’s bedroom, throwing things.

“Lily! Where is it? I know you have it! Where is it, you little bitch?” Bobbie-Anne yelled violently.

Lily didn’t move, she knew what Bobbie-Anne was searching for, but she felt confident she wouldn’t find it and eventually give up. Joe, slung Rose’s door open.

Matching Bobbie-Anne’s fury, he shouted, “Lily! You give your mother that ring! That ring should have gone to her anyways! You get up right now and get it!”

Along with the teddy bear, Lily’s grandmother had given her a gold wedding band. It wasn’t worth much money, but it was Lily’s in case of emergencies item.

If her and Rose needed food, she could always pawn the ring and at least they would have some money to buy for food to last them a few days.

Lily hoped she could convince them with a lie, “I don’t have it anymore. I had to pawn it for food.”

When Bobbie-Anne heard that, she came storming into Rose’s room with Lily’s sacred teddy bear in her hand. Lily’s eyes grew wide and began to fill up with tears. She continued to hold Rose tight but began pleading with Bobbie-Anne.

“No! Please, please don’t hurt my bear. Please give him to me!”

In Bobbie-Anne’s drug fiend rage, she ripped the head from the bear and began pulling all the stuffing out destroying Lily’s beloved toy.

As cotton rained onto the floor, Bobbie-Anne paused as she heard a clink hit the ground. She quickly dropped to her knees and scattered the cotton around until she found the ring.

“You little lying bitch! Look, Joe! I told you; I told you she had it!”

Pleased with themselves and with no concern for Lily or Rose, they quickly ran out of the trailer with the ring. In a matter of minutes, Bobbie-Anne had destroyed the only item Lily had for comfort and stole the only safety she had in case her, and her sister needed food. Lily and Rose laid on the bed and cry each other to sleep.

The next morning, their parents still hadn’t returned home. There was only enough cereal for one of them and there was no milk to pour over it, but Lily put it in a bowl anyhow and gave it to Rose.

“Rose, I’m going to see if Carl has any cereal. You stay here, don’t worry about them coming back. They probably won’t be back until tonight.”

Lily knew that when her parents left that they would stay gone sometimes days at a time. They were too impatient to get the drugs and bring them home, so they would stay in some drug den until their high wore off.

Lily walked to Carl’s trailer, and he was sitting outside in one of the broken lawn chairs. “Hey Carl, you wouldn’t happen to have any cereal?”

“Nah, but I have some bread. Do you need some for Rose too?”

Lily could feel tears began to fall from her face. She sniffled as she said, “No, just me.”

Carl stood up and hugged Lily, “It’s okay, Lily.”

She cried on his shoulder, “Bobbie-Anne destroyed my teddy bear and stole the ring grandma gave me. That’s all I had. I have nothing now.”

Carl moved her to the lawn chair. “Let me get you some food. Just wait here.”

When Carl returned, he had two pieces of sliced bread with butter smeared on both. He gave Lily one and he ate the other. As Lily tried to swallow the bites, in between cries, Carl handed her a white stuffed toy rabbit.

“I know it’s not the same as your bear, but it means a lot to me. It was the only thing my dad ever bought me. You take it.”

Lily wiped the tears off her cheek, “I can’t take this Carl.”

“Sure, you can. I’d rather you have it. You can take care of it for me, and it can take care of you.”

Lily reached for it and held it close, letting its soft fluff brush against her cheek. “Thank you, Carl, I will cherish it always.”